By Ashley Hazan
Senioritis: a crippling disease that strikes high school seniors
1. Loss of Hand Mobility When it’s Time to Turn Off the TV Senioritis may cause a sense of cramping in the hands and feet when deciding to turn off Netflix and start your overdue homework. It’s almost impossible to grab the remote, and you may find yourself stuck in front of the screen for hours on end.
2. Short-Term Memory Loss When it Comes to Remembering Project Due Dates
Senioritis blocks any important messages that need to be received by the brain, like due dates! Even if we seniors do remember, most times we just refuse to do the work anyway
3. Extreme Difficulty Waking Up in the Morning
The first few periods of school, who needs them? Absences rack up for period 1, 2, even 3. Each day as graduation ticks closer, waking up for school becomes harder. After all, seniors are already in college, why bother showing up?
4. Lack of Focus During Class
Twiddling with a pencil, scratching the desk, scrolling aimlessly on my phone—I will do anything to avoid paying attention to schoolwork, and most seniors will agree! We focus less and less as the days pass, and, instead, we become more focused on the latest “Grey’s Anatomy” gossip.
5. Overpowering Need to Rebel
Parking in the “no parking” zones, creating our own spots, skipping class, forgetting backpacks at home. Seniors = rebels.
6. Frequent Hallucinations About What College Life Will Be Like
Any senior you approach will say the same thing: “I’m so excited for college.” New people, new schedules, independence from parents and family, and, of course, parties. Imagining is better than living the reality of high school for those with senioritis.
7. Loss of Interest in Your Appearance
There is about a 10% chance seniors will dress to impress. For girls, it’s the typical sweatpants, college sweatshirts and slippers. For boys, it’s the over-worn lax shorts, college t-shirts, and sneakers. Absolutely no effort is made to look nice and composed for the dreadfully long school day.
8. Increased Irritability
Unfortunately, as the last few months of school wrap up, seniors become irritable with one another. Knowing you're moving on to bigger and brighter things makes it more difficult to hide your dislike for the kid that chews gum too loudly in the back of the classroom.
9. Inflated Ego and Sense of Superiority
Being a senior skyrockets your ego. Freshman somehow look even smaller! Their voices are as shrill as ever too. Sophomores think they're hot stuff because they survived freshman year. Juniors are bouncing with excitement because next year they'll be top dogs. Meanwhile, we seniors are snickering on the sidelines thinking, “Were we like that too?”
10. Drastic Increase in Netflix Consumption
The infamous Netflix. When senioritis strikes, it strikes hard. Rather than take down daily notes, seniors prop their feet up and add a new show to the list (Seniors have a talent, especially during the school day: we can watch multiple seasons of multiple shows in the span of a few days. Senioritis creates free time…).